Did you forget to water the plant? Is it now weeping leaves? (Aren’t you glad at least that it’s not a neglected cat, half-bald?)
Did you forget to do the washing up? Are you too lazy? Maybe paper plates are a better idea?
Did you step on someone’s foot and, in apologising, accidentally grab their boob?
Did you miss the bus and all of your new found intentions to be on time? Did you jump and down and curse? Did you maybe curse again later, a little too loudly in class, realise that fuck is easily translatable in most languages?
This cake is the answer to all your problems. No lies. Only one bowl, no washing up. Have a slice in bed for breakfast, hand out more slices as thank-yous and sorrys.
Be impressed by the contrast in texture – a layer of biscuit crunch and a layer of mahogany cake – all wrapped up in persistent nutmeg. Be amazed again at how easy it is, and yet how successful it makes you look.
(A favourite recipe from my darling mama, in her words.)
125g (4oz) plain flour
125g (4oz) self-raising flour
125g (4oz) butter
200g (7oz) soft brown sugar
1 tsp bi-carbonate of soda
250ml (9floz) milk
½ a nutmeg, grated
optional 50g (2oz) walnuts, chopped
Put the 2 flours and butter in a bowl and rub in the butter until it resembles breadcrumbs. You can use a food processor for this. Then stir in the sugar.
Butter a 20cm (8″) cake tin and tip in half the mixture. Press it flat to form a base.
To the remaining mixture stir in the bi-carb and the nutmeg followed by the egg and milk. Pour the batter onto the cake base and sprinkle with walnuts.
Bake at 180C, 350F, gas 40 for about 40 minutes.
Note – if you don’t have self raising flour add 1 tsp of baking powder to a total of flour (250g).